I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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