what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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