I think scott just propositioned me for sex
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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