I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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