just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
