you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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