he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
