My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
