We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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