And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
