Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
