found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
