i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize