Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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