this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
