mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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