im holly from the hills drunk
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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