I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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