Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
