I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
