Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize