i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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