Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She is in my trunk
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
