I need help removing her.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
