Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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