he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
