there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
