Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize