he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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