yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
