He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We left the knife in your bed.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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