God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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