So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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