And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
where does the pee come out of this thing
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize