I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
