It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
