guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Randomize
