Need sex. Gaining weight.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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