I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
