my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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