Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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