I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
