I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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