So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
