I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
