So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
