wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
