Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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