break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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