just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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