I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize