It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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