Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize