Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
