please come you make the beer taste better
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I am mentally ready for anal.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
